I want to take a vote on this, is it morally acceptable for my husband to receive alerts on his mobile phone for my credit card spends? And then call me to double-check if it was indeed I who swiped it? In my opinion, implying “why?” And perhaps even more humiliatingly “how could you?”

I’ve asked many wives how they felt about this, and its unanimously abhorred by all!!

So why can’t we abolish this intrusiveness? What reasons could there be, other than the obvious one of wanting to keep an eye on our spending ??

There are a bunch of baseless excuses that many a husband has attempted to clarify actually, let me list them quickly;
*”They” need to make sure the credit card is not being misused by someone other than us spendthrift wives! As dim witted and slow to react as we are, it would never occur to us that there might be something amiss, say if were to receive a message on our phones(while we were home in India), alerting us that at that exact moment, we were in fact at DIY, Watford, UK purchasing a Bathroom Vanity! Obviously we’d simply ignore it, and assume it to be a “wrong number”… We’re so unassuming like that!
*”They” need to keep tabs on all household expenses, because either a) we’re irresponsible or b) our credit cards have no pre-set limit?
*The Credit Card company might charge twice for a transaction and only “they” will notice the discrepancy!!! I mean, come on! how would silly little WE realise that we couldn’t have had our hair done twice on the same day in a span of 2 minutes. That would be such an atrocious waste of electricity, let alone the damage it would do to our hair.

I think the banks entice the primary cardholders into getting supplementary cards by telling them “now, finally! you can be in control of how your money’s spent. Every time a supplementary card is swiped, you will receive an instantaneous alert”

Really? Do “They” actually believe that all it takes is a bit of sarcasm and false concern in a spontaneous phone call to stop us from paying the Grocer! Or the dry cleaners? Or a lunch bill??

I concede that every time i swipe my card, I’m dreading the dreaded phone call that will follow…. though regrettably ( for the husband), the dreaded phone call rarely ever discourages me from making The swipe! It’s an unavoidable necessity, accept it dude.

My advice to all the wives would be to sternly threaten the credit card companies with Pressure Cooker consequences if they do not seize their marriage sabotaging tactics. Alerts are to be sent solely to the card holder, wether its the primary or subsidiary cardholder. It is within our spectrum of rights to be able to spend with dignity and discretion.

As for the dear, well intended-not-trying-to-keep-tabs-on-the-wife’s-expenses Husbands, do you honestly believe a phone call claiming to check on the identity of the “swiper” is going to deter us from giving in to our impulses?

Dear Primary Cardholders, Believe me when I say that I’ve mulled over this for several days, but I sincerely don’t have a better alternative for you… only know this, that sometimes, if you probe too much, it might compel us to swipe(vengefully) some more… Especially since no one’s well intendedly keeping tabs on who’s on the other end of your swipes.

I’m beginning to think Muthuswami might be going out of business pretty soon as far as children’s birthday parties go, and no one could be happier than me! Unless he catches on, as he almost always does, and starts laying a slice of Sashimi on his mini idli, tops Gorgonzola pijjha with chorizo or octopus, replaces his smiley’s with Sardine chips, spikes up is noodles with rare bits of filet mignon or eel, and the humble dosa gets smeared with some caviar, or then a plain dosa with truffle oil!
No, this is not a menu to please the most refined of adult palettes, this I hear from my friends with toddlers is what their children prefer to eat!! these are kids who turn up their noses at staple “kids meals” of fries, burgers and pizza’s!! Snobbery you’d presume, but no! They’re genuinely repulsed by these greasy, fatty, salty foods. Or perhaps this what they are duped into believing by their well meaning parents? After all, it’s all a matter of conditioning, and a bit of moulding.
On being privi to this new age change of preference in meals, my head is reels with questions, as many an older parents’ would be! We all know that a child cannot, no matter what bribes or threats are made, be forced to eat what their sensitive taste buds disapprove of. So there’s no way these kids are being coaxed in to eating octopus, (eek) eel, or the likes of it, or can they be? Most adults (including myself) feel our skin crawl and appetite disappear when we so much as make visual with crawly slippery eatables, in fact most draw the line at jello! So then what was it that got these babies to try yucky stuff in the first place.
From my extensive research into this most perplexing change in palette, I’ve discovered that more times than not, the incipient moment was a monkey see, monkey do kind of situation, they see Daddy or Mommy eating something new, child wants to imitate to look as cool as daddy( or mommy) and slides that escargot down! With a bit of cajoling and lots of praise once it’s down, of course. I mean, what a conversation starter this makes at a who’s who dinner party, right? ” my kid eats shark meat, carpacio, fois gras..blah blah..what does yours eat?”
Don’t get me wrong, raw meat and seafood wins hands down over a domino’s pizza where nutrition value is concerned.. My question is, do our kids really need to develop such a sophisticated palette at the early age of 4? And if they prefer these foods now over say, Khichdi or a simple dosa, what will they eat at the age of 15? Or when they go to college and have to live on some sort of a budget? None of the afore mentioned foods come cheap, nor are they easily available. Or could it be that their little baby taste buds today will regress to savour a bowl of instant noodles or maybe even, gasp, French fries when they’re young adults!
Either way, it is rather cool when your toddler living in India devours sushi, just as it would be when a parent in Tokyo can boast how his kid appreciates a thepla! Or when a Swede’s baby prefers chicken tikka over smoked salmon, or a frenchman’s child asks for a dosa instead of a crepe…
I guess this is part of the globalisation that we witness in today’s impossible to keep up world.
So would someone please call up poor old Muthhu and tell him, that thankfully, tastes, they are a changing…

I sometimes tend to forget that my son’s, 18and 13 are not little boys anymore, who’d come home (in fact just get in to the car) and want to tell me all about their day at school! That the sad fact is, they’re growing up, and like all men, need a bit of coaxing, nudging, tugging, pouting, threatening, screaming, sometimes even beating up to get them to talk about the most taboo of subjects to all men; their Feelings!
Oh! How I would like to go through life believing that they have none; feelings of the emotional kind. God knows they have a lot of the other. I’m referring to the Physical kind.They’re never shy of partaking in any physical activity, be it a sport of any sort (even if its the spectator-sit-on-the-couch kind) or the more need-to-establish -a-relationship kind. The kind where brothers wrestle each other until one is almost asphyxiated, or taps out before a bone is broken, or the more suggestive kind where a wife asks for a bit of affection in the form of a simple hug, and the husband interprets it as a grope/grab kind of ‘feeling’. Oh well, you take what you get at times.
Questions like; whos’s your best friend? How are your friends doing? What happened at the party? Are those 2 dating? Does your friend have parents??? All these or any believed to be straightforward questions would Universally be met with only one standard reply; I. Don’t. Know. As if you’ve asked them what their solution is to the Middle East crisis.
God help if you dare ask questions as intruding as; How are you doing? or the worst and most probing question of all; How are you feeling? What’s implied here is not, are you ill? Most men would gladly go in to the intricacies of their (cringe worthy) state of health, what is implied with the question is; “delve deep in to your compartmentalised mind and talk to me about (gasp!) your emotions, your ambiguous feelings!!! “
On the other hand, if you we’re to ask them absolutely anything within their comfort zone, say Football and Xbox of the young men, or business and politics of the older lot, you’re in for a treat! Of the one sided conversation kind. I ask, they prattle on and on, and then I involuntarily zone off.. My mind does not wander intentionally, it’s like breathing, I cannot stop it. By if it weren’t for these “monoversations”, we’d only be talking about the daily comings and goings..meh.
The one thing I have noticed tough is that most of the male species will gladly indulge in a bit of juicy gossip! So long as it doesn’t involve anyone they might remotely be fond of, be it a mythological, actual living or dead person.
Although, to be fair, when my men do talk to me, it’s most always full of warmth. I know that every word uttered has been weighed, thought out and meant mostly to comfort, and that when there is a slip, and their words shatter my being, it’s almost always never intended.
So do I forgive them for being unable and unwilling to participate in meaningless banter and gossip? unable to bear their soul at the slightest incitement?reluctant to divulge ineffectual information… Yes I forgive them… Because if they started to volunteer too much information, I’d start getting suspicious! Don’t get me wrong, I find a man who can shed a tear watching E.T as adorable as the next mama! though uncharacteristically sensitive men are not very desirable, at least not to me ;)

I should have written this post at least a month ago, I know.. But can I attribute it to being lazy rather than the truths that kept from writing? I’ve been asked by more than one person to ‘keep it light’, and the events in my life that kept me away from the keyboard were far from light. 

The one thing that will always keep us happy, we are told by many a wise one, is to be grateful, whatever the situation. And I believe this to be true, so before I start off, and before any assumptions are made of me being anything but grateful, let me assure you that everyday I wake up thanking God for everything. 

There has been as much immeasurable pain, as there was happiness. A sudden loss reminds you of how much you have and how steadfastly you should hold on it, even memories become a precious commodity, where you start cursing our brain for letting go of the minutest detail. You start looking for happiness in the smallest of things, words, gestures, and most importantly time spent with those you cherish.

Time that Memories, two such ambiguous entity’s.. We waste time, the only thing we can’t hold on to, knowing every second that passes is never coming back. We allow horrible memories to turn us into skeptics instead of reminding us of how very little time we have to make things better. 

Well this last month, I spent I’m hoping, maximizing my ‘good’ memory bank. I haven’t laughed as much(although there were plenty tears as well), never danced as much(although there was a lot of pain and suffering after), ate as much (ehm, yes I’ve hit the gym with a vengeance since), spoke the truth as much(surprisingly no repercussions yet), even said ‘NO thank you’ as much!

So here’s to fabulous beginnings! May we only see ourselves become happier, stronger and kinder with time. 

I should have written this post at least a month ago, I know.. But can I attribute it to being lazy rather than the truths that kept from writing? I’ve been asked by more than one person to ‘keep it light’, and the events in my life that kept me away from the keyboard were far from light. 

The one thing that will always keep us happy, we are told by many a wise one, is to be grateful, whatever the situation. And I believe this to be true, so before I start off, and before any assumptions are made of me being anything but grateful, let me assure you that everyday I wake up thanking God for everything. 

There has been as much immeasurable pain, as there was happiness. A sudden loss reminds you of how much you have and how steadfastly you should hold on it, even memories become a precious commodity, where you start cursing our brain for letting go of the minutest detail. You start looking for happiness in the smallest of things, words, gestures, and most importantly time spent with those you cherish.

Time that Memories, two such ambiguous entity’s.. We waste time, the only thing we can’t hold on to, knowing every second that passes is never coming back. We allow horrible memories to turn us into skeptics instead of reminding us of how very little time we have to make things better. 

Well this last month, I spent I’m hoping, maximizing my ‘good’ memory bank. I haven’t laughed as much(although there were plenty tears as well), never danced as much(although there was a lot of pain and suffering after), ate as much (ehm, yes I’ve hit the gym with a vengeance since), spoke the truth as much(surprisingly no repercussions yet), even said ‘NO thank you’ as much!

So here’s to fabulous beginnings! May we only see ourselves become happier, stronger and kinder with time.